I would so enjoy the moment right now if it weren’t for that next glittery thing just beyond my reach. The now is filled with the mundane, the commonplace, the grit of reality. Laundry. Doctor’s appointments. Weight to lose. A soul dream not fully realized. The “next” holds promise of magic, adventure, a more-in-shape self and my dream job of writing and speaking as an actual career.
Maybe the idea of writing gives you trauma flashbacks to highschool research papers….but I’m sure you have a “next” too. Graduating college…completing a marathon…getting married…owning a business maybe?
This past weekend I tasted and sampled a full buffet of the joy and hope of my future dream while attending reNEW, a Christian conference and retreat for writers and speakers. My heart soared with each story by dynamic keynote speakers. I filled pages of notes with my feverish, sloppy hand-writing, soaking in each morsel of wisdom from seasoned workshop leaders. I over-indulged in coffee and my mind practically popped as I sat to enhance and add fresh thoughts to my latest book.
Just picture me running free through a field of wheat and poppies and there’s probably a pony somewhere in there too. (With a classy brick Starbucks building faintly visible in the distance.)
I was swimming all weekend in the potential of my “next” things.
And now I’ve swum right back home. And I’m breathing in the now again. And it’s actually a wonderful now, but it doesn’t smell deliciously like fresh ink. It doesn’t feel like the electricity of speaking out a passionate message. At least not always. It feels a bit more tame and the smell is often that vague “not-quite-clean” smell that infuses most houses with small children. I don’t know if it’s the shoes or the couch or the always suspicious bathroom.
As I pondered all the places I’d like to be this weekend, I sat down to let God show me what’s right in front of me. Not later. But now. And do you know, the more I thought, the more I realized that my now is actually precious. It’s a brimming full now. It’s a weighty now, with gifts to invest, children to plant seeds in and create safe haven for, and breathtaking opportunities to serve. Right. Now.
As I was praying with the wonderful community of women (plus a few brave men!) this morning, I had this beautiful picture that I can only attribute to God.
I pictured a girl on a path of large square stones weaving through a peaceful nature scene. Like a childhood game of Candyland (minus the bright colors and edible characters), I knew the path meandered and ultimately lead to an important destination. But the stone path was barely visible- in fact, only three or so steps were illuminated at all. The rest were veiled in murky shadow and mysterious darkness.
But the girl was untroubled by what she didn’t see, couldn’t know. In fact, she was completely oblivious to the fact that she could only see one square ahead because she was too busy chasing a butterfly. That whimsical delicate creature so enthralled her that she seemed oblivious to anything beyond her now. There was such a sense of peace washing over the whole scene.
I imagined myself on that same path with jarringly different emotions. I was right up on the edge of the dark, straining to see, stressed and panicked over what I didn’t know how to get to. Over the fact that the “next” thing wasn’t visible for me yet. Never did I stop to consider the beauty of the now. Unwilling to embrace those few bright steps as the very “next” I’d once strained to see, I couldn’t enjoy anything for the fear and discontent.
All the while the girl was dancing in her moment. Unafraid. Intoxicated with her now.
That’s who I want to be. That’s who I believe you want to be. Right there taking full advantage of the few steps right in front of us. Embracing exactly what we have. Not ignoring the path- occasionally standing on tip-toes to glimpse just enough future to keep blazing the trail. But neither straining for what I don’t have yet, nor fearful of never making it. Because my moment is too precious and dripping with purpose. And when I embrace that, I find my partially lit path is actually peaceful.
What about you? How are you learning to walk in your own purpose in the moment and live. now. instead of constantly chasing your “next”? I invite you to share you thoughts and chew on some of these Bible passages to encourage you to trust in God and rest in the fullness of what you have today.
A song of ascents. Of David.
My heart is not proud, Lord,
my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.
But I have calmed and quieted myself,
I am like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child I am content.
Israel, put your hope in the Lord
both now and forevermore.
Psalm 23:1-3 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
Isaiah 42:16 I will lead the blind by ways they have not known,
along unfamiliar paths I will guide them;
I will turn the darkness into light before them
and make the rough places smooth.
These are the things I will do;
I will not forsake them.
Proverbs 3:5-65 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
New International Version (NIV)
Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.