Are you planning a leisurely road trip with spontaneous stops at places like the world’s largest flea market or that java-shop-turned-glorified-monument that’s actually shaped like of a coffee pot? Are you hoping to go solo or possibly with one or two of your best sane friends? If you’re betting on a smooth trip where the greatest obstacle is deciding between “Kansas” and “Styx” on your road trip playlist, well…this blog isn’t for you.
But if you’re planning on going on a trip of 4+ hours of inherent chaos with children in tow…then this recipe just might hit the spot. Enjoy!
RECIPE FOR A ROCKY ROAD TRIP:
- 1 minivan (may substitute with any vehicle meeting legal seat requirements for all passengers)
- 3 Children with Assorted Bladder Control (Note that decreasing or increasing number of children will alter recipe. This depends on altitude, sugar consumption, age and child temperament. Sometimes one child= chaos of 3 children, but we recommend multiple children for peak back seat arguments.)
- 1 Supportive But Reluctant Spouse/Extra Adult (Preferably someone who did not grow up with many road trips and who worries about really practical things.)
- Assorted Bags and Food (Increase or Decrease Luggage/food in proportion to number of children. May substitute paper towel for Norwex cloth.)
- 1 Overly Enthusiastic Pit Stop Planner Stuck in Denial (It’s best if this person loves road trips, overestimates children’s ability to sleep in hotels and not break things in quaint stores, and has unrealistic expectations of spouse’s conversation capacity.)
- A 15 Hour Drive (For best results, don’t decrease hours)
Take first ingredient and place children, reluctant spouse, luggage/food and overly optimistic planner inside. Be sure to whip all carefully packed luggage and food items for several hours until items are disheveled, disorganized, and (for best results) strewn over inside of van.
When adding multiple children, be sure to wear hot pads as friction is likely to occur.
Slowly add final ingredient, over 1-3 days. It doesn’t matter how fast or slowly you stir in hours…every option will result in parental exhaustion.
Add pit stops to taste, but be aware this will increase your overall trip hours.
Congratulations! You’ve just followed a recipe for Rocky Road Trip! Enjoy!
Stay tuned as I chronicle my family’s epic Rocky Road Trip to visit my sibs in Alabama! More chaos to come. 🙂