My counselor asked me once why I always feel behind. Oh gracious, I could write a book about that.
But it all starts with intending to wake up before my children, and snoozing in just a few extra peaceful minutes only to find one of them waking me up instead. (A kid at 6am is harder to ignore than an alarm at 5:45 apparently.)
This morning my usual three year old culprit greeted me and I had to shush him and whisk him down the stairs before he woke up the other two angelic sleeping children. (And “angelic” is a word we seldom use in this house.)
Then I sat down to have my “quiet time” where I read a chapter of a book or some chapters in my Bible or pray (or for the love of all things sugar-free be ALONE). But I find myself feeling guilty that while I’m trying to have a calm conversation with God I have to keep yelling at a mischievous child. I think God gets it but its awkward.
Finally my little guy wore me down, as usual, and I invited him to join my “quiet time” if he could, in fact, be quiet. Bless his heart. He lowered his voice to a toddler whisper, but the kid never stopped talking. Asking me questions. Wanting me to see what he was working on.
Death glare. “Child…you will learn what quiet means if it is the only legacy I pass on to you.”
Finally my older daughter came in and I gave up my not-so-quiet endeavor to look something up on the computer for her. Next thing I knew, I looked over and my preschooler was wielding his scissors and must have been bored with paper because he was now intent on trying to cut my new blue shirt.
I mom panicked into over-reacting umm….just a smidge we’ll say. My poor son was surprised and hurt by how quickly I over-scolded him.
I shooed my daughter out of the room and told her to get dressed, I plucked my crying three year old up and put him in time-out with yet another firm reminder that “we ONLY cut paper” (which his little brain will file away in the same place he puts my rules about not coloring on the wall).
Then in anger I called out passive aggressively to no one in particular (but specifically my husband) something about having to handle all the things myself just because I’m “mom”. (Translation: obviously we are in crisis mode and if my tirade and a crying child didn’t get you down here…I’m going to lay out an additional suuuuper subtle hint for you.)
Then I sat down for a brief moment, probably to stew in irritability even though my shirt didn’t actually get cut after all. And suddenly it occurred to me…my husband had kissed me goodbye a good 15 minutes ago and left for work already. He clearly had no idea of the shirt and scissors kerfuffle and thankfully he also missed my immature mom moment of taking my frustration out on him.
I’m actually relieved because the minute I realized he wasn’t there I saw my Mom meltdown for what it was- that kind of embarrassing time when my kids witnessed me yelling at literally no one because of a blue shirt. I had made a mistake but since he wasn’t there I got to take it back and start over. (How often does that happen?)
Whew. With any luck he won’t even read this blog and he’ll be none the wiser. 😉
Now my big kids are at school and my son has been sneaking his own lunch while I type. But I think its worth it to take a minute to cheer you up with my immaturity.
What about you? Any embarrassing or slightly over-reacting moments from your parenting career? Feel free to share- sometimes being able to laugh at ourselves brings us a little perspective on our frustrations for today.