Mom Vacation Confessions (Day 2)

Hello Again CT,

I really should have mentioned where we were headed in my last update.  Oops.  Mom details.  As I write this now, we’ve arrived at our destination: Virginia Beach!

Our morning in the hotel was basically…

The Good: The waffle machine worked!!  Free unlimited eggs and breakfast sausage are always a win.  My children even adored the awkwardly frozen-fruit. 

The bad: I had to choose between “bold” and “gourmet” hotel coffee.  What does that even mean?  Can’t I have a bold gourmet without having to mix the two?  Then, my 3 year old gagged on a partially frozen hardboiled egg, and my husband was exiled to a neighboring breakfast table because nothing about hotels is made for a family with more than 2 kids.

The ugly:  Kids don’t readily absorb concepts like “someone is sleeping in the room next door” or “you can’t run up the hotel stairs alone”.  So we spent a large amount of time chasing and whisper-shouting at them, which culminated in me completely snapping at my son in a way that, really any way you spin it, I sound like a jerk.  But if he tells you I used a bad word, that word was “punk”… which was just so accurate a descriptor at the time that my mouth forgot to filter it. 

Moving on.

After refueling, I started looking for a Starbucks. I kid you not, it seemed we passed one every 20 miles in NJ, but upon crossing the state line, there was a sudden Starbucks dearth.  To my credit, I did not find it necessary to drive 20 minutes out of our way for coffee.

Not-so-much-to-my-credit, I researched coffee roasteries on our route and found an amazing one in a quaint little town where

I briefly lost sight of our end destination.  This was one of those little hipster corners just into Virginia with artsy brick buildings and lights rigged up fancy in the trees.  (Notice the fake flowers tied on the branches.)

And my sudden desire to traipse whimsically with the kids to some cute eatery clashed severely with my husband’s desire to actually get to our destination.

In the end, we nixed the eatery but I did get my coffee, which was too amazing to describe in language appropriate to use around the children. After this, we briefly stopped for essentials at a Food Lion store.  I picked up many things, but most importantly…a new toothbrush. I tried to get a picture of my kids holding souvenir shirts that we never planned to actually buy.  I’ll let you be the judge of whether that photo op succeeded. 

Aaaand as we made PB&J for them in the store parking lot, I realized that we maybe shouldn’t use plastic spoons for the peanut butter anymore.OH…then my husband learned something new about me.  I don’t think I have many phobias, but apparently underwater tunnels is one of them.  And if you’ve never crossed the Bay Bridge Tunnel (we called it a “brunnel”)…well…its a whole lot of bridge and tunnel that doesn’t seem terribly attached to….what’s the word I’m looking for?…right, LAND.  We started to cross and I began firing questions uncomfortably: How long is this? How on earth do they do maintenance on this thing? How would they know if something was wrong? Look at those concrete columns!  They look crooked!  (My husband assured me they were supposed to be crooked and that they clearly have the money to pay for repairs with the $15 they charge/car to cross.  But please, you don’t have to explain that to me, you have to convince my phobia… ahem.  See below.)

If the bridge weren’t bad enough, we then had to drive straight down into the bowels of the bay, while my 6 year old rattled off how bad it would be if the water got into the tunnel and all the cars got flooded and sharks attacked us.  (Thanks kid.)

And just when we got to the lowest point of the tunnel my GPS creepily said, “Lost Satellite reception” and I told my husband that this is like a location right out of an apocalyptic film.  And I’m pretty sure right over there is where the meteor hits the water and launches a wave that sends a barge crashing into the tunnel where we all meet our ruin.  So I don’t know if the light at the end of the tunnel is a good thing or if we’ve all died.

Thankfully, our kids made it over the brunnel because upon arriving at our vacation home with family,  they are head-over-heels in love with the beach (more on that tomorrow.)

But for now, I need to use my husband’s tooth brush again before bed because I accidentally flipping threw out that new toothbrush I bought and it absorbed some unidentifiable brown liquid.  For. the. love.

Till tomorrow…

Still-Not-so-fresh-and-minty, Carrye

 

Vacation Confessions (Day 1)

Dear CT,

I’m writing home to tell you how my husband and the 3 kids are doing since we left.  You know, all of 7 hours ago.   Has it only been that long?

Here are some things I learned so far:

  1. If you try to make a giant leak-proof ice pack using a sealable bag, the bag will definitely have a hole in it and will leak out of your soft-cooler and onto your purse.
  2. You should make a packing list.  Or you’ll forget something important like your toothbrush and have to choose between the equally nerve-wracking options of not brushing your teeth at all or borrowing your husband’s brush.  (Although, he reminded me I accidentally use his often enough.)
  3. If you ask your children “what do we talk like when we’re in the car?” your three year old will say “batman” and you’ll find yourself role playing a scenario in which batman politely asks your husband to stop singing so loudly, because NICE and QUIET are how we talk in the car…  Except A) no one is buying your batman, B) your husband doesn’t sing period and C) Not even you are taking yourself seriously.
  4. Hotels are not made for sleeping.  And I don’t mean that as innuendo.  Hotels are like a cruel social experiment where each child strategically pushes you closer to the brink of the abyss.  One of your children will only mildly complain that they can’t sleep.  You will lightly scold.  A second will ramp up the complaining by 90%, only to finally stop flopping and talking awkwardly to himself when you promise a prize to the first kid who falls asleep.  (This idea came from the same part of your brain as the batman charade.  This will come back to haunt you.)  A third child won’t fall asleep even after you threaten to take away the hotel’s free waffle breakfast, suggest that he might make his Mimi cry, and begin to walk him back to the van for a “timeout” at 10:15pm.  (Who are you really punishing there?)  Halfway down the hall he’ll promise to sleep and will somehow finagle his way into nesting on a chair with a towel for a blanket.  Suit yourself, kid.
  5. “The Edge of Glory” is apparently sung by Lady Gaga, not Pink.  Who Knew?  (I don’t want a show of hands, I’m sure lots of you knew.)
  6. Blogging makes everything better.

That’s all for now.  All I can say is, the waffle machine better be working tomorrow…I’ll be in touch shortly….hopefully from an awesome beach view.

Sincerely,

Vacationing (But not sleeping) Carrye